I’ve re-read this post four times now, and I think I shall keeping coming back to it for quite a while. Well worth sharing with others.
Feeling useless and hopeless due to a physical ailment is impossible to navigate unless you actually believe that your worth is in something higher than your productivity. I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.
Around a year ago, I began a Quest. Admittedly, it was not as exciting as the Chaucerian or Middle-Earth variety, but it was still a long journey that I would, in an ideal world, not have needed to make. My Quest was facing up to the fact that I was, chronically and perplexingly, Not Very Well.
Not-Wellness had been a slippery companion for several years, coming and going as it pleased, proving manageable and unmanageable by turns. It had a variety of ploys for Making Me Feel Lowkey Rubbish, its favourite being nausea. I felt sick, in bad phases, most days, for hours at a time. Not the eat-something-bad-throw-it-up-and-get-it-over-with kind of sick, but the pernicious, lasts-for-ages, doesn’t-appear-to-have-a-cause kind of sick. At its mildest, it was a vague discomfort that generally appeared after eating. At its worst, it was all-consuming, physically exhausting, and completely incapacitating, the only real solution being…
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