The Three Graces of Chronic Not-Wellness

I’ve re-read this post four times now, and I think I shall keeping coming back to it for quite a while. Well worth sharing with others.

Feeling useless and hopeless due to a physical ailment is impossible to navigate unless you actually believe that your worth is in something higher than your productivity. I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way.

underwhosewings

Around a year ago, I began a Quest. Admittedly, it was not as exciting as the Chaucerian or Middle-Earth variety, but it was still a long journey that I would, in an ideal world, not have needed to make. My Quest was facing up to the fact that I was, chronically and perplexingly, Not Very Well.

Not-Wellness had been a slippery companion for several years, coming and going as it pleased, proving manageable and unmanageable by turns. It had a variety of ploys for Making Me Feel Lowkey Rubbish, its favourite being nausea. I felt sick, in bad phases, most days, for hours at a time. Not the eat-something-bad-throw-it-up-and-get-it-over-with kind of sick, but the pernicious, lasts-for-ages, doesn’t-appear-to-have-a-cause kind of sick. At its mildest, it was a vague discomfort that generally appeared after eating. At its worst, it was all-consuming, physically exhausting, and completely incapacitating, the only real solution being…

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